Greeting Cards Pillows

'Legal say that 'Be my Valentine' opens us up to sexual harrassment claims, they suggest 'dear individual of indeterminate or any gender would you consider accepting the role of being my person of special interest'.'

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Oh lovely, a Valentine Card: I wonder who it is from?'

Cards: Good Luck Goodbye Good Riddance.

'We should get Mom one of those cards -- she's a happy mother.'

Cards for all occasions.

'I hate writing Christmas cards. . . It's all 'Dear so and so. . . Happy Christmas. . . blah, blah, blah. . . maybe I should write people's names in the card to give it more a 'personal touch?''

Birthday. Get well. Self-congratulations.

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

'It's another get-well card from your ex-wife. I never realized how many words rhymed with alimony.'

Jack's Cards

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

'I'm looking for a 'get well' card with just a hint of 'I told you so'.'

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

'Give me a hundred valentines cards.'

The carefully chosen Sorry-I-Can't-Pay-My-Gambling-Debt card helped soften the blow.

Parp!

Apology Cards.

"It's bad enough when someone give you a card who you didn't... but worse when it's a musical card!"

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

"Care to send a 'Wish you were here' card to friends?"

"I need a card that's heavy on caring but light on commitment."

Mother's Day cards

Happy Christmas - other religious festivals are also available.

Cards: Get WellGet #!!X@!!

'Christmas Cards' 'Humour, Traditional, Veiled threats'

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

''Fancy a s**g?' I think this one must be from Dwayne!'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

'Frosty the Fro-Man'

Greetings cards copy writer's block.

'It's exhausting writing so many cards at this time of year.' - 'Sometimes I ask my, 'Is it really worth the effort?'' - 'Sometimes I think, 'Should I even be stalking these people in the first place?''

Ace Greetings Card Co - "Roses are red, violets are blue, business is terrible so redundant are you!"

'You've bought your wife a get-well card every day this month - isn't that awfully expensive?' 'Yeah, but it's still cheaper than sending her to the doctor.'

"I thought this would be the year I'd come for you, but I guess not. So I got you a birthday card instead!"