Greeting Avoiders Club Prints

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

Email Notifications

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"Say aaargh!" (Dentist presents his bill to a patient).

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

'Gloria hates sports bars. Guys always make a pass at her.'

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

'A Mr Ritzwell to see you, sir. Are you in, or are you using the escape tunnel?'

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

'Is he expecting you?'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

"You hate ironing? Me too."

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'I hate networking.'

"I miss handshakes"

Sleeping - "Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

'Nope, a handmade coupon for 'one free backrub' ain't gonna cut it for our 25th Wedding Anniversary hon...'

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

"Terrible, I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried."

'I don't date men with nice bodies. It usually means they've spent a lot of time in prisons.'

'G'Day!'

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"Careful, he can smell your boredom."