Green Medicine Guru Pillows

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

The Busy Gardener

Self help acupuncture

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

The Environmentalist

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

But is it organic?

Doing the borders.

Gardener

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Horti-Culture

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Garden Goddess.

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Garden.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Eco Princess

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'