Great-great-grandfather T-Shirts

'When you live 900 years, you find that your great-great-great-great grandchildren never come to visit.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Prize vegetables.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

The Zoo.

"They grow up so fast."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."