Great Deal Devotee Pillows

"These pills are resulting in addiction...I'm addicted to coming in here and buying up all your other lovely stuff."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

Thomas Hardy

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"...And please let the merger do through!"

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

One book... One book... One book...

"How much is the sign?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Tell me about it, buddy... I completely understand where you're coming from.'

Sale today - 50% off everything!

Hire a lawyer - get one free! Limited time only.

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Shopping Torture

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

No news is good news.

'Our strategy is to begin the meeting with an ironclad no-negotiation policy - and negotiate from there.'

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"I'm just saying, if you keep insisting we seriously discuss problems and work on solutions, we're stuck here all afternoon!"

'Seeing it's your birthday, lets go and get rat arsed.'

Hey! This is good in a first meeting. A frank exchange of opinion!

"Our manifesto must offer a measured but devastating critique of flying."

Night of the Living Well-Read