Gravity Joker Pillows

'I am not overweight. I'm gravity enhanced.'

Ernie, we're the first humans to set foot on Mars! This is so exciting! The whole world is watching! Whee! We need to do something for the history books. Woo hoo! Ernie, you're not appreciating the gravity of the situation. What gravity?!

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Early photobombing

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"OK, ready to go again?"

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Pole Star

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

E=Emcee Squared

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'...a variety of local wildlife very close to the campsite.'

Bicycle Sidecar.

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Revenge had come.

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

High Jump

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

Very drunk professional cyclist

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

Climbing to the moon

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

Party Schools...

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."