Grass Grazers Club T-Shirts

"Well how about that, I'm vegetarian too..."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Lawnmower

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Beware of the Lawn

I want to be a lawn!

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

'You can see the artist has tried to capture man's aspirations, using a minimalist language.'

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

Hipster Yard

"I never thought I'd hear myself saying this but I'm really not that hungry."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

"Hola...I was wondering if you need your lawn mowed."

'Robert likes to watch the mechanic as he works.'

Seasonal Migration of the Mowers

One blade of grass shouting to the others. 'Thems that get shat upon 'ill be tha lucky ones!'

"Grass...grass...and grass!"

Grade 'A' Grass.

I'm a Grasstafarian!