Grass Evaluator Pillows

According to my Chromatic Analyzer, the grass is not greener on the other side...

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Lawnmower

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

THe UDDER Side

Beware of the Lawn

I want to be a lawn!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"Hola...I was wondering if you need your lawn mowed."

Hipster Yard

I've got a note from my mum...I can't be eaten today!

"I never thought I'd hear myself saying this but I'm really not that hungry."

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

"Has it been in your family long?"

Seasonal Migration of the Mowers

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

Grade 'A' Grass.

"Grass...grass...and grass!"

Bovine Fast Food