Grass Cutting Gifts

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Sale! Weed Whackers

Lawnmower

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

I want to be a lawn!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

I love tennis

Ref shows footballer green card.

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

When Cows Discovered Mowers

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Hipster Yard

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

'I don't get it. All we eat is hay and grass, and yet we're a veritable storehouse of cholesterol.'

"I never thought I'd hear myself saying this but I'm really not that hungry."

I've got a note from my mum...I can't be eaten today!

"Relax and enjoy the game! Relax and enjoy the game!..."

Due to rising fuel prices and tired of dodging kickback, Fred tries an alternative method of cutting firewood.

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

"Yes, the grass is greener on the other side, but significantly sparser too, so it's a toss-up really...."

Grade 'A' Grass.

Bovine Fast Food

NINJA GRAZER

One blade of grass shouting to the others. 'Thems that get shat upon 'ill be tha lucky ones!'

"Grass...grass...and grass!"

It was love at first sight...then one of them got hungry.