Graphic Presentation Gifts

"We ran the big data through graphic analysis. That's when we realised that the whole world had been trolling us."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

Tartine

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

The wonderful world of cheese.

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"Any questions?"

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."