Grape Treading T-Shirts

"We want this wine to be assertive and stubborn, but with a sense of humor."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I make it myself!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'Who's the new guy?'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Wine tasting

Red Wine

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'