Granny Gliders T-Shirts

"To save me from losing it on the bends, I swear by a smearing of denture fixative."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Ice skater

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Snowboarding downhill.

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

'I'm sorry Peggy, but at this point in time, I just don't feel like getting off the couch.'

Federal Agency to Eliminate Agencies

Extreme skier flies through cloud.

'It guides you through the halls of bureaucracy.'

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"Binaldi, Ravaccio, Dellacorte... and that's just the frames."

"And now, moving along to our right, we have Hilda Schumacher, of Zelton Falls, Pennsylvania. Ms. Schumacher has been painting clowns on velvet for over fifteen years, and we find her work a fine example of this genre."

"They're so realistic."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to barge in here when I'm looking at my hidden agenda!"

My gran likes the crossword.

'There must be safer means of facial expression than closed eyes...'

"The worst thing about getting shorter is you can't get those rebounds any more."

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

"It's a 300 page government questionaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

Lady with walking frame on skis.

Battleaxe offers free advice.

On the Ice.

'Let's start the air aerobics class with some free falls.'

"The government is committed to reducing its interference in the pension industry..."

Ballet Shoes

"When you said you'd give me a lift from the shops, I thought you had a car!"

Mr. Punch in Venice

Two mice at a bar: 'They've got a new Speaker in the House of Commons.'

'Your mother's got to carry on working as long as I live.'