Grandparent Wisdom Seeker Gifts

'Not only am I over the hill, I think I picked the wrong slope.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'What did you do in the great whale war, grandad....'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'Except...That.'

'Don't come crying to me, son. I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you stayed out in the sun all day.'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

The Ageing Process.

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'There's got to be more to the Eightfold Path than 'don't worry, be happy.''

"When I was young, we used bottles, rocks and toothpicks for our school science projects."

Young MacDonald

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

"Go ask your mother."

"Grandpa, tell us again about the old days when people voted for somebody instead of against somebody."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

"Don't make me come over there."

One final question: How do i get down from here without breaking a leg?

"Winners don't leave Yelp reviews."

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

'Have ideals, fine - bit never let them cloud your business judgement.'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"It's arthritis. Probably caused from clinging to life."

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

'Moonbeam just had a hippie replacement.'

"The meaning of life? Didn't you see the FAQ on my website?"

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."