Grandmas Pillows

"I said, remind me to tahnk your mother for giving Jimmy the drum for Christmas!"

"I don't want to go to grandma's, she only has 3G."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

City Zoo: Day Care

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”