Grandma's Recipes Fan Gifts

'I'm sorry Peggy, but at this point in time, I just don't feel like getting off the couch.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

"I like coming to Grandma's House Daddy. . . It always smells like chocolate chip cookies!"

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

"It's an old family recipe - some flour and water, yeast, a little salt, mono calcium phosphate, polysorbate 60, calcium propionate..."

Recipes from the Revised Senior Citizen Cookbook

Yesterday of Minnesota.

Grandma wearing novelty T-Shirt: 'How's my Hungging?'

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

"Could sir kindly eat more slowly, the signature dish takes a rather long time to make."

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

'You realize I have to tell grandma about this?'

Healthy Eating.

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

Osteo-pierogies

"Yes it is amazing you found a card with GOTH on it, Gran, especially with your eyesight."

"Gracie, if you're going off to college, you should know how to cook!"

'...and we add a couple of drops of our secret, habit-forming ingredient to each order.'

"Oh, I'm just between naps, Grandma."

'Granny's got wind again!'