Graduation From Sommelier Course Pillows

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Turkey Autopsy

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Keith Floyd.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Just the one...

American style Greek cafe.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Cookery Lesson.

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

Nouveau wine

"House red, sir?"

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

Devil's Kitchen - "This soup is cold!"

'I nearly made it through culinary school selling wine books - then their library caught on.'

Compliments to the chef - "Thank you very much, but all I did was follow the directions in the cookbook."