Graduation From Plumbing School Gifts

'You're a disgrace, Billy, you really are.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

Lazy plumber.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

A Brain Drain