Graduating To Teenage Years Pillows

"IRL sucks."

Big Bang Theory.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'