Graduating Into The Workforce T-Shirts

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Big Bang Theory.

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

I need to set upmy own company.

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

"This is what's known as a book."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

Day one, post grad

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

Good Luck with your finals.

Warning: Math Ahead!

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

'The trick is to make it look as easy as possible while, underneath, you're paddling like hell.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'...Or not.'