Entering The Workforce T-Shirts

"So what makes you think you're the right person for this post?" "Well, I'm highly motivated, outgoing and independently minded. Isn't that right, Dad?"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'Upper management still relies on resumes...boring!'

'I'm worried about job security and I don't even have a job yet!'

How do I get downtown from here? Where am I supposed to live? How do people shop? What am I going to do all day? What if I need money for shoes?

'Now what?'

Graduate Job Openings

"Welcome to the corporate world, Son. Now go hit on J.T.'s wife and check the scampi."

'Well, I am only human!' (Human Resources)

'Son, you've been a good tax deduction, but now you must join your kind in the work force and prop up my social security.'

Welcome to the job market

"It's 'Take-your-thirty-something-year-old-kid-to-work-and-get-a-job' Day."

The Rubber Ball Company

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Day one, post grad

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'Your marriage to your job has just been annulled.'

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"

Cycle of Professional Development

"When I'm grown up I don't want to poop on small cars in little cow towns. I want to poop on the limousines of the rich and famous on the Champs Elysees."

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."