Entering The Job Market T-Shirts

'What's the point of being guaranteed an education if I'm not guaranteed a job.'

'Congratulations graduates. We are here to help with your resume preparation and unemployment insurance applications.'

School Graduation: Diploma and Resume

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

The Three Wise Queens

The Rubber Ball Company

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

Do you have any other skills?

In and Out Sourced.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"I don't like your application."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."