Graduating Into The Workforce Pillows

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Big Bang Theory.

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

I need to set upmy own company.

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

Good Luck with your finals.

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

Warning: Math Ahead!

Day one, post grad

'The trick is to make it look as easy as possible while, underneath, you're paddling like hell.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'...Or not.'