Graduating Into A Career Pillows

'You'll be on a leash for the first six months.'

Big Bang Theory.

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

All Hail the Matriarchy

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

I need to set upmy own company.

Caged Businessman

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'Well Mimi, what's it going to be...medicine or the cello?'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"This is what's known as a book."

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

'Cat job interviews.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

I want to be a politician when I grow up...