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"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

Compression

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

Children's education

Science Dept...Entomology: 'Too bad humans don't spend their teen years in pupa like insects.'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Mother's Love

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Quiz Night...

'We'll have him back on his feet and under yours in no time!'

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

A boy and his spin patrol.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Do we have to use our inside voices through clenched teeth like you, Ms. Baker?"

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

Having It All

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'