Gps Jokester Pillows

At next mogul, carve left. At next mogul, carve right. Recalculating.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"Look on the GPS to see if there's any wormholes through time and space."

A fisherman reacts as he sees a drone flying over the lake with a fishing line into the water below.

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

Recalculating!

Black Hole Corks

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

'Power steering.'

2 trilobites; 'So what are you going to be when you die - oil or gas?'

The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singulari

"Sorry, professor... A black hole sucked in my homework!"

'The global positioning system says we're on the border between middle class and lower middle class.'

Galley Christmas

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

Moon Prank

"Why didn't you spring for a proper G.P.S.?"

"Rudolph, with you nose so bright... I'm using my GPS device tonight!"

'You didn't really think you'd get away with this, did you?'

The fairy godmother made a coach for Cinderella out of a pumpkin! Bill. That's nothing. Some guys made a car for me out of a lemon!

Quit fooling around, Ernie -- I'm not telling mission control you went over to the dark side.

Sat Nav Directions.

Roger's computer crashes.

'You really are a gadget freak you know: You don't need a GPS receiver to find your way around here...'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news

Keep honking. Honk and accelerate. In 30 feet, cut that @#$% off. Really lay on the horn this time. Cabby GPS.

Never get lost again! Introducing the Track Mapper - a navigation device for directionally challenged runners.

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'