Government Target Spotter Gifts

'Staff just can't keep up with all the changes...Every week it's a different performance indicator, they're all wondering what the government's next target will be?'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Alien Snowmen

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Save Our Universe

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"They look like pickles."

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

Moon: Made in China

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Take me to your market leader.'

"The food was o.k., but the atmosphere was terrible."

'...And hurry up - I told you to go to the toilet before we left home.'

We come in pieces!

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"I don't like the looks of that!"

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

"They're very time-sensitive."

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Take me to your feeder,'

I'm gonna need to see some unidentification.

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

Eviction Notice for Earth...

NHS targets.

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."