Government Spending Gifts

"Afraid we can't help dear, too many other calls on the public purse!"

'...Oh! THAT three trillion...?!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Least Popular Governor, Most Expensive Portrait

It's fine to hate Congress, little buddy, but you have to have a reason. The ladies dig a guy who has reasons. Well … they won't fix that pothole in that street I never use. That got fixed last year. Then they're pouring my tax dollars into holes! What a waste! Keep trying.

Obama-don't-care.

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

'I just thought of something that will drive tax-payers crazy.'

The Disappearing Coin Mystery

'The police cuts are really biting.'

'It's a tax refund with a note attached. We're asked not to cash the check before next week.'

Campaign Reform

"With a wave of my magic wand, I declare all government programs free."

Taxpayer Money

Sam's Nation Building

'As a politician just turned lobbyist, I sometimes confuse pork barrel with pork bellies.'

The Anti-Agent

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

Trump pardons

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"National security adviser"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

CIA report

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

Archival Warfare