Government Gossip Enthusiast Pillows

Betty Boothroyd

"The Speaker of the House is such a gossip!"

"Discussing research funding with ministers can be a little fraught..."

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

'Take a letter,'

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Lessee... He's keepin' my ol' guy at Defense, he's got a corrupt warmonger at State, a tax cheat at Treasury, an' the old Marc Rich pardon guy at Justice.... Nope -- I couldn'ta done a better job myself!'

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

A big announcement is coming at work.

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

"I hear he's getting six figures a year."

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

When government regulations go too far.

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

"You'll fit right in. You have a great sense of rumor."

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Investigate Committee On Why There Are So Many Investigative Committees.