Government Budget Buff Gifts

Five trillion. Huh? Ahem. Five trillion!!!! Dollars spent on wars since '01. Thought it was decibels.

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"What comes after zillion?"

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Occupy Budget Balancing

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Tax.'

Overdraft limit.

White House Garage Sale.

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Where tax money goes...

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Your tax $ at WAR.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

Our 4 Branches of Government

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Squeezing a tight budget...

Financial Execution

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Conspiracy Theory Books