Gourmet Worrier T-Shirts

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Needs salt!'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Please don't kill me."

"Gigot de sept heures."

Things that go beep in the night.

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'Mine was stone cold.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Edible food section in the library.

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

"Their chef makes an AMAZING hot sauce."

'Sunnyside down.'

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn't called me back. Do you think she still likes me?! Ahh! Now it's an hour and one minute! Love is a beautiful thing.

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

"You call this pigswill food?"

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

'Could you please bring Marco Polo a fork.'

Very sad piggy bank