Gourmet Sorcerer Pillows

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Witch's Brew.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"All I've got left is smoked."

'This food's disgusting.' - 'And such small portions.'

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

"How was the food sir?"

Pizza Fencing

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Master Mum

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that,'

"Telling me how nutritious it is doesn't make it taste any better."

"Making your own potions is old fashioned. I order mine online and pop it into the microwave!"

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

"Oh, this is terrible! I love it!"

"Tonight, the part of the sea bass will be played by the chicken."

'I'm looking for the perfect coffee to pair with a toaster strudel & a banana.'

Please wait to be vetted