Gourmet Inspector T-Shirts

"Is the MSG local?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

All Natural Nothing

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

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Cheese