Gourmet Inspector T-Shirts

"Is the MSG local?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

French wine

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

All Natural Nothing

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

Cheese