Gourmet Guardian Mugs

"Ciel! Supergastronome!"

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

"Chef, the salads are ready, the meat is seasoned, and you're washing your hands in the soup."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

La Table

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Is the MSG local?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

French wine

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'