Gourmet Goofball T-Shirts

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

'More Christmas anyone?'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

'The special today is scraps.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'The garnish was really good, but these biscuits are rather tasteless...'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Shoot For The Moon

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

The Deaths take a selfie.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

Ostritch Gangsters.

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

A choice of sandwiches

Man in snow globe clears snow.

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

"Ewww....Banana slug hammocks really cross me out."

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'

"A backflip with a full twist, handspray pike and a three quarter roll will do nothing to further your cause Mr Laney."

'Do not even think about it, Ron!'

"Not THAT sort of begging..!"