Gourmet Dog Parent Pillows

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Dog Chow Mein

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"She's eating in tonight."

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

'Yuck Mum, this wood is way too dry!'

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

Water. Food. Garnish.

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

'Hey - these things are pretty good!'

"She's very fussy about her food!"

The food is just scooped into my dish...no thought to food presentation.

"I'm so tired of eating meals from a can...I could spit!"

'No more premium chow? She's not infactuated with me anymore!'