Gourmet Cooking Pillows

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

Avocado Timeline

'I can't understand how we've managed to spoil the broth.'

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

"How about an upgrade?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Anatomy of a Salad

Robinson le Creusot

'After crab-cheese canapes, Brazilian fish chowder...'

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'You've gone soft Frank!'

Wine Walking the Plank

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"Your new font is delicious."

"It says the box contains all the ingredients needed for a delicious chicken dinner."

"Enjoy."

"Excuse me, can we change our order from quality to quantity?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Endangered Entrees

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, Veal Stock

Now On Your Grocer's Shelf.

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

"Gigot de sept heures."

"This isn't just any old food wine. This is the foodies' food wine."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Wait! I changed my mind. Instead of the creamy leek and cannellini bean soup with toasted almonds, get me the steak."

"Mmm...yes...scrumptious—I think we got it all."

"Grass-fed, organic, free-range – it hardly even died."

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

"The Normans are coming and I can't decide on whether to pour a simple consomme on them, or a more complex bisque."

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.