Gourmet Cook Pillows

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'If it's any consolation, we use EVERY PART of the explorer.'

'I love pretentious pasta!'

"Look, gourmet popcorn! Harold, our son is a gourmet!"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Cookbooks

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'