Gourmet Cooking T-Shirts

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

Avocado Timeline

'I can't understand how we've managed to spoil the broth.'

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

"How about an upgrade?"

Anatomy of a Salad

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

Robinson le Creusot

'After crab-cheese canapes, Brazilian fish chowder...'

'You've gone soft Frank!'

"Excuse me, can we change our order from quality to quantity?"

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"Enjoy."

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

Wine Walking the Plank

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Okay, let's shake on it.'

"It says the box contains all the ingredients needed for a delicious chicken dinner."

"Your new font is delicious."

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Fools! You're not supposed to *eat* the bay leaves!"

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

The smokiness of this overpowers my palate --- I'd like some bacon with more subtle flavors. A swine snob.

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Wait! I changed my mind. Instead of the creamy leek and cannellini bean soup with toasted almonds, get me the steak."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, Veal Stock

Endangered Entrees