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"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

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'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Cookbooks

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Too much cilantro

French wine

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

The Main Types of Cheese

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."