Gourmet Adviser Pillows

'My compliments...and just one teenie weenie suggestion...to the chef...'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

French wine

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Is the MSG local?"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"