Gopher Whisperer Pillows

'I've seen a mound like this only once before. We're no dealing with just any gopher...'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

Merry Christmas.

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I'll check and see if he's available."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

The Lawman

'I'm sorry. I have to cite you because the frog you kissed and turned into a prince was an endangered species.'

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

"You're on mute."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"He never takes me anywhere."

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

A psychic mows the lawn.

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on."

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'Aren't collar doves cute!'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'