Gopher Whisperer Pillows

'I've seen a mound like this only once before. We're no dealing with just any gopher...'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

Merry Christmas.

"I'll check and see if he's available."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'I'm sorry. I have to cite you because the frog you kissed and turned into a prince was an endangered species.'

The Lawman

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"You're on mute."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

'Aren't collar doves cute!'

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on."

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"He never takes me anywhere."

A psychic mows the lawn.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."