Google Md Pillows

'I couldn't diagnose this ailment on the internet, so I was forced to come to you.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

Sea Horse outside saloon

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

"Physician heal thyself."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

Don't worry. I'll be right there.

Able to Google Stuff Man

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

Encyclopedia

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

The discovery of the $2,000 Aspirin

'Very funny!'

"I've been getting a second opinion."

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'Five Yeas and I say no... The 'I's have it.'

'I'd say it's a fungal infection.'

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

'Last week many of us had a tight schedule so our meeting was rushed and very short. Miss Jones, please read us the seconds of our last meeting.'

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

"I just thought I'd run the symptoms by you before I get a proper diagnosis on Google."

"What I lack in formal education I make up for in dexterity using search engines."

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."