Google Md Pillows

'I couldn't diagnose this ailment on the internet, so I was forced to come to you.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

Sea Horse outside saloon

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Able to Google Stuff Man

Don't worry. I'll be right there.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Physician heal thyself."

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

The discovery of the $2,000 Aspirin

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'Very funny!'

"I've been getting a second opinion."

'Five Yeas and I say no... The 'I's have it.'

'I'd say it's a fungal infection.'

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

'Last week many of us had a tight schedule so our meeting was rushed and very short. Miss Jones, please read us the seconds of our last meeting.'

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

"What I lack in formal education I make up for in dexterity using search engines."

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

You're so full of pesticides that when you go, the worms won't come near you for a hundred years.