Web Md Warrior Pillows

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"I told him he should have trained more."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

Polio - The Comeback Kid

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

Unhappy, Happy, and Well Being Consultant Theatre Masks.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

Life on Earth - My soul is thin.

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

If you thought that congress was going to work to drive down prescription drugs costs. . . dream on.

'Jenkins came back from his vacation a little too decompressed.'

"He fought like hell."

'Okay - Who built this site?'

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

Emergency room notice - 'Wait hours, or go home'

'And this is Ziggy, our stress management consultant...'

"I'm no longer afraid of doctors. It�s the medical insurance men that frighten me!"

'I'm really worried Doc. I'm beginning to feel quite good about myself!'

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

Psychiatry. On the highway of life, I can't maintain the minimum speed.

"Cheer up. You're not as nutty as most of the whack-jobs I see."

"I get uncomfortable around comfort food."

"Relax. I'm not here to administer last rites, but to help you pray your insurance will cover all!"

Doctor to man: 'We've found a mass. The good news is we have weapons of mass destruction.'

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'