Goodwood Festival Pillows

Woman revives a car at the Goodwood festival.

Glastonbury. After.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Yo ho ho!

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

The other days of the year...

Tough Teddies

A Christmas tree self portrait

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Great Moment in North Pole History

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."