Good Humored Patient Pillows

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Geoffrey's Tourette's is acting up.'

The New Age Dentist.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"I've never felt better in my life."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"Race you to the spleen!"

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

'Spin GP'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"He's losing his will to pay!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

'Very funny!'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"The bad news is you do have a lump the size of a golf ball. The good news is my tests indicate it's just a golf ball."

"Yesss, I've cured many cases of hypochondria with a hypodermic."

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

'You can discuss sexual failure with me Mr Harmsworth, I'm trained not to laugh.'

'Nurse we only kiss nighty night in the childrens' ward.'

Xmas Decorations in Hospital