Gong Guru T-Shirts

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

"The guy's a natural!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Lennon and McCartney.

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"This next one's another oldie."

ZZZZZZZ Top

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

Eric Clapton.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Bashful in Nashville

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

Kirsten Johnson

"Check out this new store."

Guru.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Great Blues Heron, Live at the Sandbar

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

Joe Henry

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'