Golf Commentator Pillows

'What a divot.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

I think you're ace

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Perils of the double play.

'The 'Leviathan Bat,' or many centuried marvel of the modern (cricket) world. (Dr. William Gilbert Grace.)'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

Tennis ball girl.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

American Football.

Cricket widow's revenge 2

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'