Goldfish Parent Pillows

'Why is it that every time we have an argument, I'm the one who has to sleep in the toilet.'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'So what have you been up to?'

"This place could use a moat!"

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"He never takes me anywhere."

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

Fishbowl Rebellion

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'

'Well, I think it's dreadful coming home and taking it out on poor Freddy like that.'

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"What have you been saying about me to the goldfish?!

'Where's your goldfish?'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

"Wait a minute! It's not good to go swimming right after eating!"

A Classic Goldfish Game.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'