Goldfish Owner Pillows

It's important that you set boundaries for your new pet.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'So what have you been up to?'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"This place could use a moat!"

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

Fishbowl Rebellion

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

'Well, I think it's dreadful coming home and taking it out on poor Freddy like that.'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Wait a minute! It's not good to go swimming right after eating!"

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

'Do you mind if I have a friend spend the night?'

'Where's your goldfish?'

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'Water is included with rent.'

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

'Of course there's a Richard Dawkins! Who do you thin changes the water?'