Gold Gurus T-Shirts

"I'm taking no chances, I've invested everything in gold."

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Will work for ETFs

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Invest in technology."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

The Shrinking Dollar.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Dow Jones drop

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Jumping Wall Street.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"